“I’m so Full!”


Weigh in number five is tomorrow, and I am 100% expecting a gain. 

I’m okay with that because this week, I’ve had a series of crazy events and have not been “on track.” 

Sometimes, life gets in the way of our very best efforts. Even the most health conscious person must have a week where life gets hectic and they gain. The gain I’m sure to see will likely be gone the following week. I’m currently PMSing, so add a half a pound. I have had minimal sleep this week, add a half a pound. I have eaten like crap, so add a pound. I have had way too much sodium and not enough water, so add a pound. 

I’m preparing myself so that I’m not upset and disappointed tomorrow, because I know I will be a little disheartened to see the scale go up a bit. The good news is that these are temporary pounds that will be shed by getting back on track with healthy eating, drinking lots of water, and getting some sleep. By week 6, I’ll be back on the way to reaching my goal! 


So. Why a gain? 

Tuesday was fine, a good day. Was excited to report a 9.2 total loss, super set to head toward that 10lb mark this week. I had a tummy ache, leftover from the night before, so I didn’t eat much, and when I did, it was light and healthy stuff. On Tuesday, I found out that we had a $700 car repair bill to pay for, and was pretty stressed about it. In light of my recent realization that I am, in fact, an emotional eater, it wasn’t surprising I was craving sugar. I managed to resist, and was pleased. 

Wednesday was my birthday. And dammit, I’m going to eat what I want on my birthday. Wesleigh and I went for our free Denny’s breakfast. I ate until I was satisfied, then one bite more, then gave the rest of my hash browns and my sandwich to him to finish up. First time I haven’t cleared my plate of my “Moon over My Hammy” because, damn, it’s a tasty sammich! We then went for dinner with the family. We went to the Mandarin, which is always delicious! I had soup, salad, and one plate of hot, fried, delicious food. Normally, I would have had three plates of the hot stuff and had to lay down when I got home, but I stopped when I was full and didn’t feel guilty about “not getting my money’s worth.” I realized that I don’t need to eat myself silly to do that – I ate a meal that was satisfying, tasty, and left me comfortable and not feeling gross. 

Then there was ice cream cake. And it was delicious. 

Thursday was decent – it was an Oxford day, and Wes and I had ventured out to get groceries, so I was able to get back into routine as far as healthy choices. Then, I went to my mom’s to bring her something, and there was leftover ice cream cupcakes from the night before. And I had one. And another one. And was not pleased, but hey, shit happens. 

Friday was okay. I went to work for the first time all week (Wesleigh and I were enjoying some vacation time together), and I took a lunch. I didn’t go out at lunch and get Tim Horton’s. I had a wonderful class and was able to leave in a great mood at a great time. I got home and cooked dinner – chicken and perogies. Perogies were not a great choice, I realize, however, I had one scoop of them on my plate, was full, so stopped. We actually had leftover perogies, which never happens in the paliweldrick household. 

Then, I headed to my mom’s. (Seeing a pattern here!?) Her house is full of delicious treats for my niece and nephew. She is good about stocking up on crackers and granola bars, and even some fruit, but nope, I wanted crap. I didn’t do too badly, but I was tired, sore, and grumpy, and craving. I didn’t get home until about 3am, because Wesleigh was at a party and I had to pick him up and drive him home. At 4:07, my phone rang. 

My cousin (and one of my very best friends) was in labour, six weeks before the baby was due. I hopped out of bed and drove up to the hospital, and it was a write off from there. Until we knew she and the baby were okay, food wasn’t a major concern. I had a granola bar that my other cousin had thought to bring, and split a bagel with my aunt in the morning. After all was said and done, and mom and baby were good, I headed home, around 1:00. I stopped at my mom’s house and there were cinnamon buns. I had one. I had some cheese, and I had some crackers, and I had a few handfuls of crackers, and realized I needed to get home! 

I got home and managed to get a couple of hours of sleep. When I woke up, there was no way I was cooking dinner, so we ordered in a pizza. I ate too much of it. I was full, and still had another piece. I hit the point of “it’s good, and comforting, and I don’t care” – the difference is, I was aware of it. 

Sunday was okay – The baby shower went on as planned, and as most family events in my world happen, there was a TON of food, all of it delicious. I did pretty well – only one bun, one scoop of caesar salad, one small helping of pasta. By the time I was done that, I was FULL. I had a few bites of the next course, then realized I was uncomfortable, and it was silly to eat just because it was in front of me. I had them package it up and took the rest home. By the time dessert rolled around, I was hearing things about the magnificent cheesecake on the table. It was pre-sliced, but I took that cake server and sliced a slice in half. (Sorry to whomever got the other small piece!) I still got to enjoy the cheesecake, but ate less. 

Managed to do okay for the rest of the evening, but still nibbled here and there. 

Woke up feeling yucky today, a side effect from the craziness of the last 48 hours. It was all TOTALLY worth it, as I was able to support my cousin while she brought a beautiful baby girl into the world, and was able to help throw her a shower, even if it wasn’t quite what we had originally planned! I am feeling happy with the crazy, a little unhappy with my “screw it, whatever” attitude about nibbling and snacking this weekend, and about eating the portions that I did. 


The difference is, and the reason why this isn’t going to derail me like it has in the past, is that I am fully aware and conscious of what happened and what went wrong this week. I am SO aware of the bad choices and low will power I had as far as indulging in the little snacks, especially late at night, that I will be uber aware this week and change it. I’ll be thinking about how much better I feel when I’m not snacking, both physically and mentally. I’ll be thinking about how I need to drink water instead of pop or juice. I’ll be thinking about planning healthy meals that are also tasty that will help me reach my goals. I can look at this past week and weekend and understand why what happened happened, and be prepared for the scale to go up a pound or two and KNOW that it’s only temporary, and that it’ll be gone by this time next week. 

Life happens. I’m slowly learning how to deal with what it throws at me while still making good choices. This week was a great learning experience. 

And hey, no matter what happens on the scale tomorrow, I still got FOUR compliments on how great I looked yesterday, and that people could tell the dress I was wearing looked looser / nicer on me. So hey, it was a good week! 


Until next time, 



Week Four Weigh In Day!

Well, my week four weigh in has arrived. I was a little disheartened by last week’s 0.4 lb loss, and while I was happy to have lost anything at all, it’s always a better feeling when you lose more. I used that smaller loss to fuel this week’s progress, and it worked to my advantage.

This week had a few challenges – I wasn’t at home as much, I had pizza for dinner one night, I had a cold and just wanted to eat comfort foods. I managed to do okay in spite of these challenges – I avoided the comfort foods and stuck with soup. I didn’t eat an entire pizza (because trust me, I could). I had extra salad instead of extra pasta when I was having dinner away from home. I managed.

One of my highlights of the week was getting the “you look like you’ve lost weight” compliment. It came from the most honest source I have, so it was definitely a great thing. I haven’t lost a ton yet, but I have definitely lost a significant amount. I typically need to drop about 20 lbs before I see a change in pants size, unlike most who need to lose about ten. I blame my apple shape (could I carry any more weight in my midsection!?) and the fact that I’m tall. I haven’t noticed much of a difference yet, but my mom (the aforementioned honest source) told me on two different occasions that she had noticed a change through my midsection.  I was pretty thrilled,  to say the least.

I also spent two days this week roasting peppers for the freezer with my mom. This meant two days of getting out of bed, washing my face, brushing my hair, throwing on my glasses, and heading out the door. I hadn’t put on my make up, worn my contacts, or put any effort into my appearance for three days. Yesterday, while getting ready to head out with friends, I did my hair, put in my contacts, and put on my normal make up. I looked at my face in the mirror as I was getting started and noticed that my face was looking a little less round.

Simple things. I know I still have a LONG way to go, but these small changes, small compliments, and seeing the scale drop serve as motivation and inspiration. It’s hard to keep going when there are no changes or results, and even though I didn’t see high results last week, instead of having a binge-fest or giving up altogether, I kept going. This week’s results showed that perseverance is key.

Today, I weighed myself. I stepped on the scale, looked down at the number, and said “are you kidding me!?” Then, I got off, and weighed myself again. Same result.

No, I didn’t lose another three or four pounds. I’d be worried if I had. BUT, I did lose a fabulous 1.6 lbs! This means I am down 9.2 lbs, and am 9.2% of the way to my goal!! SO close to that first 10% milestone! Can’t.Freaking.Wait.


9 pounds of fat, right there! So happy this is off my body and will NEVER be back on it!!


Until next time,



Weigh-In Number Three :)

I am fully aware that it’s basically Thursday, and I’m a full two days late for my weigh in report. I’ve been sick and have been working like crazy on top of that. I feel bad, but life happens, right!? Anyway, without further ado…

So, number three. Three weeks. Crazy to think I’ve been at this for three weeks already, and just as crazy to think that it’s only been three weeks. Time is weird that way.

My weigh in didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped, but we’ll get there in time.

This week had a few challenges. The biggest was that I am now officially back to work after having my summer off. I had a few days of work here and there over the last few weeks, but last week, I was back for two full days in a row. Eating at work and packing lunches has always been a problem for me.

I don’t like sandwiches. I can’t always refrigerate my lunch. Sometimes, I don’t get a chance to sit and eat. I don’t always like going to the staff room, and sometimes don’t get the chance, so I can’t always rely on taking something and heating it up either. In the past, I’ve found that the easiest solution to the above is to buy my lunch. Swing by Tim’s or Subway, if I can, grab something quick and carb loaded (doughnut for the drive back to school? Don’t mind if I do!) and scarf it down when I can.

I also don’t like waking up early. I would rather sleep an extra ten minutes than get up and make a decent breakfast and lunch, then end up rushing like a fool and skipping breakfast (a weight loss no-no). On these days, I end up ravenous by 3:30. If it’s a “go home after work” night, I end up thinking about quick easy meals the entire way home, and usually swing by the grocery store and grab something like perogies and end up eating half a bag at dinner. If it’s a “go to Oxford and work for another two or three hours” night, I am on my way to work thinking “McDonald’s? Subway again? A&W? Tim’s?” and am looking for a fast food stop on the way that will fill me up and that I will be able to scarf down in the 20 minutes it takes to get to work. Then, I spend the next two or three hours at work feeling gross because of the fast food, and be starving again because as we know, it’s not quality food that stays with you.

So.  This week, I made breakfast and and lunch, and took it with me to work. This week, I had a “go home” day AND a “go to Oxford” day. Both were stressful days, If you read my previous post, you’ll already know that I was already craving sugar like mad at the end of both of them. I managed to make healthy dinners both nights, and avoided fast food altogether. I still haven’t had fast food, and I’m really, really not missing it.

This week also had a few highlights. More than one person told me that this very blog has been inspiring to them on their own weight loss journeys. These comments and facebook messages make me so proud – of myself and of my friends for tackling this weight loss!! It is nice to know that I’m not going through this struggle alone, and that there are others I can lean on for support if and when I need it as well. So, thank you. Thank you to those who have messaged me, and to those who have kept quiet, but have read this every week. You all keep me going!!

Alright. The big reveal. I feel like I need to put a little disclaimer on this week’s reveal. I was not able to resist the late night snacking as much as I would have liked, and I had a few cheats. I also had two MAJOR losses the previous two weeks, so I was expecting a smaller loss this week.

While I would have liked to have seen the scale drop a little bit more, I’m still happy to report a loss of 0.4 lbs. Of course, I’d rather have seen a full pound off of my body, but that is still 0.4 lbs of me that’s gone for good, and brings me closer to my goal. It is better than staying the same, or worse yet, a gain. I know there will be weeks where I don’t lose anything, and that there will be weeks where I gain a pound or two. It’s all part of the journey, and as long as the general trend is in the downward direction, I’m a happy camper!

And hey, I’m now 7.6 lbs down, and 7.6% of the way to my goal! So, WOO!

Today’s motivational picture? I’ve lost a brick. And a half.


For the record, that is clearly not me in the killer red turtleneck

Ever held a brick? Yea. One and a half of them is off of my body forever.

Take THAT fat!!!

Until next time,


Emotional Eating

Well, rounding the bend on week three. I did a mid-week weigh in, just for shits and giggles, and am not seeing a major loss like I did in the past two weeks, but I’m okay with that. I still have one day to go before my official weigh in (well, as official as you can get standing on the scale in the bathroom), and I’m confident that I’ll shed a pound. I know that now is the time that it will slow down a bit – if I was seeing three and four pound losses every week, I would never be able to maintain that or keep it off. Slow and steady… right?

So. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater. I have been to weight watchers, a diet group through my doctor’s office, and done My Fitness Pal. All were great programs, and I will probably end up venturing back to one. The point being, that in each of these groups, one of the first questions you get asked to consider is “are you an emotional eater?”

I have always answered no. When I’m sad or upset, I stray the other way and don’t eat. Last December, when my Poppa Bear passed away, I ate because Wesleigh was forcing me to, not because I had any inkling. Food seemed pointless, everything tasted like cardboard, and I dropped ten pounds in a week. Super healthy, I know :s

I eat out of boredom and habit a lot. Sitting in front of the TV late at night with a snack that’s 99% carbs and is warm and gooey is an easy habit to get in to. Even now, I struggle with late night snacking, and it’s been three weeks of telling myself no.

I am not often sad or grumpy, I don’t get upset often. This is why I figured emotional eating and my weight gain were not related.

Then, Thursday happened. I started thinking. Then Friday happened. I thought some more. And put two and two together. On top of getting four, I also realized that I am, perhaps, an emotional eater after all.

I had two very busy days of work. I was teaching a grade four / five class, and they were pretty wild. On my way home after the first day, I thought “man, I could really use a HUGE Coke right now!” Hmm. Sugar craving. All night, I was wanting carbs – comfort foods. Very interesting indeed. Friday, after round two, I was again craving sugar and carbs. I was feeling stressed about the day, and while relieved that it was all over, I started to think about how I could start to make myself feel comforted, destress, and start to relax, and my mind kept going to back to those comforts. For the first time in nearly three weeks, I started to crave fast food. I kept thinking about how eating it would make me feel better. I could imagine myself surrounded by fries and a drink and some kind of burger, plunking down in front of the TV and just zoning out and forgetting the crazy.

And that’s when I had my “Aha!” moment. I realized that perhaps I am an emotional eater. Eating junk does make me feel “good” for the short term. Zoning out in front of the TV with something that is good on the taste buds is something I’ve grown accustomed to over the last several years, and since I’ve had several stressful situations – work, money, family issues, etc, it makes sense that I have gained weight by indulging in the impulse to grab something quick and zone out. I managed to avoid the cravings and instead had a glass of water and a nap, and made dinner at my usual time.

So, I’m an emotional eater. I realize now that I need to find alternatives to bingeing on crap and flaking out on the couch. Going for a walk. Doing some crafty stuff. Cleaning something. Going on the computer for a bit. I feel better knowing that I’m a little more prepared for this journey as I’ve discovered this part of myself. It’s kind of amazing when you stop listening to the cravings and start listening to yourself.

Until next time,


Wrapping Up Week Two!

Well, it’s been a slooow two weeks on one hand, but has zoomed by on the other!

I can’t believe I’m already two weeks into my journey. I’ve seen some awesome progress (yep, going to make you wait ’til the end again), and haven’t felt deprived at all.  Not going to lie, there have been a few nights I’ve been hungry, but instead of eating, I’ve gone to bed.

This week’s challenges included cake, BBQ, drinks, and chocolate chip pancakes.

I managed to do pretty well at my family get together. There were all sorts of yummy BBQ type foods – potato salad, caesar salad, huge, delicious, white buns. I managed to have only one serving of everything. Normally I’d have had two buns, picking at the second even though I was full because it tasted good. I do love me some bread! I wanted another scoop of potato salad, but didn’t NEED it, and managed to resist. I had two drinks, then switched to water. I felt good afterward. Not uncomfortably full, which is still a nice feeling that I’m getting used to. I made chocolate peanut butter cake for dessert, as well as vanilla cupcakes. Here’s where I toot my own horn. I make delicious cake and cupcakes. My peanut butter frosting is to die for, and my vanilla is pretty damn good too. I had one slice of cake, because, well, I wanted some (and isn’t it bad luck not to have a piece of birthday cake?!), and skipped the cupcakes. My cousins bought some amazing pumpkin doughnuts that are only available at this wonderful time of year, so I had one of them too. I wanted a second, but again, resisted. I had my sweets, I didn’t deprive myself. I realized I’d be punishing myself and sabotaging my efforts if I went in for more. I got what I wanted, so why overindulge?! Instead, I sipped my pumpkin flavoured coffee and enjoyed the company. I felt awesome afterward.

I had my niece and nephew, brother, and mom over for dinner as well. I made breakfast for dinner, and threw some chocolate chips in the pancakes for the kiddos. Who am I kidding?! I threw them in there for me too. The difference is, I had two of them instead of five. I had one and a half pieces of bacon instead of three or four. I had a small serving of potatoes, and a few scrambled eggs, and called it a day. Again, I still got what I wanted, but within reason. I am really loving the feeling of empowerment I get when I make the choice to be healthier and make good food choices!

Alright. So those were my challenges. Again, I’d say my successes were in handling those challenges well. I’ve made a big effort to get more sleep and to cut the sugar out of my coffee and tea. I’ve been drinking lots of water, and have had only one can of pop in two weeks. I haven’t had any fast food. Little steps lead to big results, it would seem, as this week, I am down another FOUR pounds! In two weeks, I have dropped 7.2 lbs, I am now 7.2% of the way to my goal!

I realize as I go on that the losses will get smaller, and that I will hit a plateau and lose nothing at all. I will have to change things up, possibly consider counting calories or points, or something more formal, and I will need to incorporate a regular exercise program. But for now, I’m going to celebrate the small changes I’ve made, because they’ve helped me lose 7.2 lbs that I will NEVER see again!

And for the record, this is what 7 lbs looks like:


This visual helps me to see that, see what I’ve managed to shed from my body, and remember that I never want it back!!!!

Until next time,


Photo Op

Well, it’s been almost two weeks. Weigh in day is tomorrow, and I’m excited to see what progress I’ve made. 

Today, I’m choosing to write about something that affects me on a semi-regular basis. 

Before I begin, I’m going to assure you all that I don’t have self-esteem problems. I don’t hate the way I look, I don’t look in the mirror and hate what I see, and I know that I’m beautiful in my own way. I don’t look like a movie star or a model, and I have no desire to. I have a man in my life who would love me and tell me I was beautiful if I was five pounds or five hundred pounds. I find clothes I like, and while I wish I could shop just anywhere and that shirts would sit a little smoother on my tummy, I don’t spend a ton of time dwelling on it. In general, I think I’m pretty awesome, and I’m not afraid to tell people that’s the case :p

That being said, I don’t always love the way I look. I hate looking at photos of myself, at least, recent ones. I have an image of myself that I see in the mirror – I find nice clothes, think I look okay, then see a picture and don’t like what I see. Photos don’t lie, and when I see how big I look, it gives me the sads. It reminds me of why I started this journey, and why I won’t give up this time ’round.

This is probably one of the most superficial reasons I started this journey, but is one of my bigger motivators. W and I will be getting engaged one of these days, and we’ll be having a wedding not long after the engagement happens (for all of you thinking “FINALLY” – don’t get too excited. No immediate plans for either an engagement or wedding)! Engagement and wedding photos are a natural part of the process, and something I’m excited to have done. I can’t wait to have photos taken that will capture the love that we share and that will celebrate our impending union. 

When we have those pictures done, I want to look at them and think “wow, that’s a great pose!” or “look how silly we look!” I want to focus on the shots, the excellent work of the photographer, the lighting, the scenery, and us. I don’t want to look at them and think “wow, I look fat.” I want to focus on the important stuff, and not at how I would look if only I was fifty pounds smaller. I spend so much time comparing myself to other people in photos, how big I look compared to them, how my face and chin(s) look, how thick my waist looks, etc. I don’t see the picture for what it is – capturing an awesome moment. 

I don’t do this stuff on the daily, and I don’t get too hung up on it. I don’t spend hours staring at pictures hating on myself. So, so totally not what I’m about. That being said, these thoughts pop into my head. 

So, vain or not, it’s a good motivator for continuing my journey. My main reasons for trying to lose weight are for my health, my well-being, and to be healthy for when we start a family in a few years. I’m allowed to be a little vain though, right?


Until next time, 


Cauliflower Crust Pizza

Morning all!

I made a post on Facebook yesterday, that I was going to be trying my hand at making a cauliflower crust pizza. There was lots of interest in it, and quite a few people asking how it turned out. So, without further ado, here is my cauliflower crust pizza review!

I originally stumbled across the recipe on Pinterest, as I do many things. The recipe came from this website:


(this is the original recipe)


cauliflower crust pizza

Serves 2; Adapted from Your Lighter Side.




1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp crushed garlic
1/2 tsp garlic salt
olive oil (optional)

pizza sauce, shredded cheese and your choice of toppings*




To “Rice” the Cauliflower:
Take 1 large head of fresh cauliflower, remove stems and leaves, and chop the florets into chunks. Add to food processor and pulse until it looks like grain. Do not over-do pulse or you will puree it. (If you don’t have a food processor, you can grate the whole head with a cheese grater). Place the riced cauliflower into a microwave safe bowl and microwave for 8 minutes (some microwaves are more powerful than others, so you may need to reduce this cooking time). There is no need to add water, as the natural moisture in the cauliflower is enough to cook itself.

One large head should produce approximately 3 cups of riced cauliflower. The remainder can be used to make additional pizza crusts immediately, or can be stored in the refrigerator for up to one week.

To Make the Pizza Crust:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick cooking spray.

In a medium bowl, stir together 1 cup cauliflower, egg and mozzarella. Add oregano, crushed garlic and garlic salt, stir. Transfer to the cookie sheet, and using your hands, pat out into a 9″ round. Optional: Brush olive oil over top of mixture to help with browning.

Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.

Remove from oven. To the crust, add sauce, toppings and cheese. Place under a broiler at high heat just until cheese is melted (approximately 3-4 minutes).


*Note that toppings need to be precooked since you are only broiling for a few minutes.

Normally, when making a recipe for the first time, I make it exactly as written, then make changes the next time if I deem it worthy enough to make again. When I read the ingredients for this one, however, I saw that it called for 1 full cup of shredded cheese. A full cup just seemed excessive to me, so I cut it in half, and put in 1/2 cup instead. I also loosely measured the spices, and added a dash of sea salt, since I use garlic powder at home instead of garlic salt.

When I mixed it all together and pulled it out of the oven, it looked like this:


Cauliflower crust for pizza, fresh out of the oven. Note the colour – the recipe called for mozzarella cheese,  but I only had old cheddar. It did the trick!

Not quite as crispy as I’d hoped for, but solid enough to get off of the pan. I threw it under the broiler for a few minutes, but it didn’t seem to make a huge difference (yes, I broke a Pampered Chef rule, and used my stone under the broiler – gasp!)

I let it cool for a bit, while I got the other ingredients ready. It smelled amazing, and the initial taste test was successful, although I wasn’t loving the texture. Kind of mushy. After it cooled a bit, it firmed up more, and I was happier with the texture.

I loaded them up with sauce, chicken, mushrooms, and peppers, and threw some more cheese on top. They looked like this going into the oven:


Ready to go into the oven! Note that one is round and one is rectangular. I wasn’t experimenting, I just have one round and one rectangular pizza stone from Pampered Chef.

The recipe recommends adding pre-cooked toppings and broiling the pizza until the cheese is melted at 450. I wanted the whole thing to heat through, so I ended up putting my toppings on raw (except the chicken, of course), and baking them at 375 for about 15 minutes.

The end result came out looking like this:


Yum, right!?

It turned out mighty tasty! A few things: if you’re looking for a pizza that you can pick up and eat, this is NOT the recipe for you. I had to eat mine with a fork and knife. If you’re looking for something that tastes like traditional pizza dough but is amazingly made of cauliflower, this is NOT the recipe for you. It has a slight cauliflower taste, but that’s majorly overshadowed by all of the pizza toppings. When eating it, you still get the pizza vibe, but without the gut-rot from the greasy dough. The recipe states that one “pizza” will serve two. The above is one pizza. I made two crusts with the remaining cauliflower, so technically, my two pizzas should have served four. I was full after a bowl of salad and about half of this, but Wes was still hungry afterward. I would definitely suggest that the recipe does NOT serve two!

Overall, it was tasty. I felt like I was enjoying pizza and felt good after I ate it. Next time, I will try flipping the crust halfway through (flipping from one pan to another, as it will crumble if you try to pick it up halfway) to see if I can get it to firm up a bit more. I will also add a bit more garlic (but that’s a personal taste preference). The key word here, is next time. I will definitely make this again!

Until next time,